TBR: Nazi zombies play in the snow

This week in TReelville: “Dead Snow”

The streets keep on callin’ me back. I can’t stay away from zombie movies, and with radical films like “Dead Snow” there’s no reason to.

This 2009 Norwegian opus briefly played at the Harris in Pittsburgh, and it was just released for Instant NetFlix on Tuesday. If you missed it before, watch it now. Watch it while you’re eating hamburger. Actually, watch it while you’re eating Nazi hamburgers.

“Dead Snow” is a campy movie about a group of young adults, horny on a 1970s-What-are-STDs?-level, who go to an isolated cabin to snowmobile and make bad decisions. Their escapades are soon interrupted by a man who says there is gold in them thar hills. Nazi gold. And it’s protected by Nazi zombies who sound a lot like Nazi pirates.

You might be thinking, “Dave, what’s the big deal with Nazis?” I’m glad Theoretical You asked.

In a world of undercover enemies and moral ambiguity, Nazis represent an identifiable evil. Paradigms can infinitely shift, but we’ll always be able to look back and say, “Those jerks were the bad guys.”

Allied soldiers will tell you the war wasn’t glamorous or guilt-free, but that’s how it's characterized. Our generation wants to save the world, so we fantasize about killing Nazis (i.e. “Inglourious Basterds”). And while we’re at it, make ‘em zombies! On with the Nazi zombie slaughter-fest!

The “Dead Snow” wise man tells the group a horrific tale of murder, torture, greed and haunting. He says it’s unsafe to travel the mountains alone. Then he says something like, “It’s getting dark. I’d better go sleep alone on the mountainside.”

That wasn’t the best idea, but it is a more respectable demise than the next. Back at the cabin, the freewheelin’ Norwegians find a box of gold in Sara’s cabin, which they take for themselves because they are thieves. Then, Erland is like, “I have to take a dump,” and he goes to the outhouse, which gets his female interest, Chris, all hot and bothered. She mounts Erland while he is still on the toilet and they make a revolting facsimile of love. Then she stays behind to do her own toilet business while Erland goes inside to hide the shame I can only imagine he feels. Chris is soon confronted by a Nazi zombie who she cannot disarm with her lack of sexual standards and disregard for hygiene.

This is just a sampling of the absurd depravity of “Dead Snow.” It is awful. Awfully good. Ziiiiiiiing!

“Dead Snow” doesn’t do much new in its genre. Nazi zombies already exist in pop culture, from movies like “Shockwaves” to video games like “Call of Duty: World at War.” But this movie is a mixture of funny sensationalism, appalling gore and a few moments that are actually frightening.

Unfortunately, there is no zombie Hitler to get his comeuppance. There is a leader, Colonel Herzog, who wears a Third Reich officer’s uniform like Dennis’ dad in “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” He commands an army of reanimated, anti-Semitic corpses, so there is still plenty of fodder for elaborate death scenes.

Herzog is like the Rita Repulsa of Nazi zombies, and the Norwegian heroes are Mighty Morphin Power Rangers who die a lot more. If this sounds illogical, you probably shouldn’t watch “Dead Snow.” However, if you like turret guns mounted to snowmobiles and other things that are cool, you should.